THE SCHOOL OF LIFE VIDEO SERIES: How to Argue in Relationships

Our tendencies, when we’ve been slighted by our partner, is to wound them back immediately. We would have far calmer relationships and kinder ones too, if we could just reveal our hurt – rather than inflict it back.

In a wiser society, we’d study arguments at school for at least four years (they’re as complicated as algebra and more important) and we’d all get a lot better at confessing our wounds in a tone of self-possessed dignity. We’d admit with calm that, though we’re capable and strong in most areas of our lives, here, right now, in the arena of the relationship, we are hurt and scared – and yet are brave and mature enough, as well committed enough to love, to dare to tell the partner so in the plainest, most undecorated and most heartfelt words.

We might save ourselves a lot of time. MORE